Personal Development – Taking control of your life

Sometimes, I think we get to stage when we question what we are doing and how we are living.  I know I have and often then, I question if I have done enough personal development, how good my physical and emotional health is and reflect on whether I am really a confident woman or not.

Self-doubts are something we all experience at some time.  It’s natural to question ourselves and what we are doing and more importantly, it’s critical that we challenge what we are doing.

How we lose control in the first place

Having worked with, coached and counselled women for decades, I firmly believe that many women lose control of their life because they don’t put themselves first.  We women carry the world. We make sure the world goes around and do our best to make certain everybody is happy, healthy and fed – partners, children, parents, grand-parents.  We cook, clean, play taxi, confident, mentor, coach, guide….. it doesn’t stop.

Which is fine, but over time our life becomes predominantly looking after others and making sure their world is good and we lose ourselves in the process.

It’s no wonder so many women are exhausted and drag themselves around life.  Be honest here.  How many of you who are reading this are tired most of the time and who can’t wait to get back into bed that evening?  How many of you WAKE UP tired, thinking ‘how on earth will I get through this day?’

Well, there are more women living like this than you think there are and unless we learn to take control of our life, nothing will change.

Positive Steps to take control of your life

I believe this begins with reconnecting with you and thinking about what makes you tick, learning to put yourself first and make time for you, your interests and passions and to create regular space for hanging out with friends and family and positive people you love.

  • Think about what you really want?
  • Ask yourself what happiness looks like for you
  • Question yourself about what you do that makes you anxious or unhappy and how you can change those things
  • Be disciplined about ‘me’ time
  • Learn to say NO – women do too much. Everybody comes first, then us.  And often it costs us our health and our happiness, so we need to take control of our life.  To agree to do only what we can and leave the rest to others. We cannot carry the world alone.
  • Make a list of what works in your life and what you need to change. Against each point include a timeframe by which you want to achieve these things and then put them in your calendar and start implementing steps to take control of your life
  • Think about your personal development – you may need to attend a course (such as learning to communicate more confidently and be more assertive) or get a personal trainer to help you get fit
  • Write out a life plan, with specific goals, that will help you reach the destination you want to get to

Set SMART Goals and stick to them

The SMART Acronym stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound.

Write your goals in this way.  For example, instead of saying I want to lose weight soon (far too vague and not specific enough) use the SMART goal formula and say:

  • I want to lose 10 kilograms (specific);
  • By the end of December this year (measurable);
  • It is four months away and I have enough time to control my diet and exercise more (achievable);
  • It is realistic given my lifestyle (realistic); and
  • I will reach my goal in 4 months’ time (time-bound).

Getting others to help you

  • Sharing your load is halving it, as the saying goes. Your physical, mental and emotional health depends on what you do moving forward to take control of your life
  • Find a trusted friend to talk things through when you feel the need
  • Find a great life coach who can help you move through the challenges you face to make sure that your robust plan is achieve and helps you move towards achieving it
  • Join a group of women who work on themselves and their lives as the key reason they get-together
  • Connect with like-minded women who have ‘been there’ and can help you ‘get there’
  • We all need change in our lives and to do different things at times to keep us refreshed and energised. Change is good for us (like a holiday, they say) and helps keep us motivated, interested and ‘in the game.’


Understanding what you enjoy, setting goals (even if you must adjust them later), designing a life plan and getting help are wonderful and productive ways to take control of your life at any age.  So, with a positive and curious attitude, go and do it.

This moment right now is the first in the rest of your life

Stage 1 of the Be Unstoppable online empowerment Program for women is all about the topic of personal empowerment – making good decisions and choices, taking control of what you do and setting goals.

Learn how to take charge of our everyday life by becoming more empowered, focusing I what makes you happy and feeling I control of you. 

Find out more here.  View

You can also try out our Personal Empowerment session free!  Head to


If you’d like to discuss any concerns or ideas you have about taking control of your life, book a free discussion on today!

Photo by Daniel Gonzalez on Unsplash

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