Looking at the billions of people on the planet, it’s often overwhelming to think that every single person has a family, a history, a story that shapes their life and makes them who they are.
We’re born into families, tribes and cultures – all shaping us into the men and women we will become over our lives. All different. All unique
Which brings me to you. In business, at home, in the community – you are special and your story is unique to you alone.
Why comparing yourself to others is a waste of time
So many women with whom I work constantly compare themselves to other women and social media, invasive and intrusive, doesn’t help. No matter where you are, social media and its obsession with comparison and trivia are right at your fingertips.
As a woman, there will always be another better looking, not as good looking, thinner, larger, richer, smarter, less intelligent and poorer. Which is why comparing ourselves to others makes no sense.
You are uniquely who you are. Special in your own way with your own gifts, blessings and difficulties you are exactly who you are supposed to be.
A woman. Regardless of your age or culture or how you look, you are special in your own way. You’ve just got to believe it.
What affects your feelings of self-worth and importance?
- Domestic Violence
All about power and control where one person dominates another, violence in the home strips a woman of her self-belief and worth over time. For some, it strips them of their life and the sole purpose for many becomes daily survival. This is not living. This is about survival which is not what any women’s purpose is. She was born to thrive, to be happy, to live well.
Tragically domestic violence in Australia is alive and well, with reportedly one woman dying each day.
- Toxic relationships
At work or at home, dysfunctional relationships make a woman question her importance and her self-worth. If she is treated badly at work or home, she starts to falter in her self-belief and questions her importance and what value she adds in anybody’s life.
Positive self-talk and getting the support she needs will help, but mostly to remove herself from the toxic environment is critical to remain self-loving.
- Negative self-talk
Every time we say negative things to ourselves, or criticise ourselves by telling ourselves how stupid, large, unintelligent and useless we are, we attack our sense of self-worth and importance. Learning to have positive self-talk is important to valuing ourselves and feeling good about who we are, warts and all.
I’m with Vindi. Beautiful woman. Young. Two gorgeous kids. I gave her a test last week and I am giving it to you. Take a pen and piece of paper around in your pocket with you for one day. Everytime, you think negatively about yourself, put a cross on that piece of paper.
Last week, Vindi had 98 crosses on her paper in one day. 98 negative thoughts about her and her life in the space of 18 waking hours. What space is there for the good ones?
We all have a purpose
I hear this question all the time from women. Do you often ask yourself what your purpose is? Do you wonder what you’re doing here?
I believe each of us is here for a purpose, to fulfil an important quest to make impact on others and it’s our choice to do it well and thrive or not. Some of us don’t even know what our gifts are or how to find our purpose which can be confusing and difficult, particularly when we are going through a hard time.
Above all, our first commitment must be to treat ourselves well and to ensure others do too. That means not accepting bad or unacceptable behaviour that attacks our self-esteem and self-belief, as it affects our feelings of importance and purpose we need to have.
In my blogs and posts, I keep saying how women see themselves as the ‘nurturer’, the individual who does everything for the family and looks after herself last. The problem with this is that often she forgets herself in the process and she comes last in the race of her own life.
How can I remind myself that I am important?
- Make a list of the things you are good at. Your strengths.
- Think about how these strengths help you and others around you.
- What is important to you and what are you passionate about? It could be animals or looking after the aged, for example.
- How do you use those passions and interests to help animals and the aged?
- Look at the family and friends around you. Ask them what it is about you that they value and what are your strengths?
- Go out and everyday do at least one good thing for another person.
- Feel gratitude for everything good you have in your life.
Nobody is perfect and to realise our self-worth and value, we need to accept this. Go out and be positive, believe in yourself, get out of toxic or violent relationships, at work and home, and realise that you are a special woman with wonderful gifts.
You deserve to be happy and live a wonderful life, but it’s up to you.
So many women feel their lives are designed to provide for others. Too cook, clean, taxi children around and make sure that everyone – the family, friends, the village – is thriving, but often at our own expense.Stage 2 of our Be Unstoppable online women’s empowerment Program looks at the valuable life you as a woman can lead, increase your self-esteem and how critically important you are in designing your own path and journey. How you see you and your experiences greatly shapes the woman you are. To have so much to love, live and enjoy.
The Be Unstoppable Program has been written for all women around the world, no matter where you are, to help you take control of your, feel more confident about you and it gives you ways to be more resilient, manage stress well and communicate more assertively.
Find out more here: www.empoweringwomenthtothrive.com
Or you can chat with us about any concerns or ideas you have about how you would like to improve your life. Book a free discussion on https://my.timetrade.com/book/QGY21.
Picture Jonathan Meyer Unsplash