9 Ways to Survive the Stress of Valentine’s Day

Recognised as the ‘day of love’ around the world, Valentine’s Day – February 14th – is one where we are encouraged to honour our intimate relationship, accolade our life partner and give thanks and appreciation to our significant other.

Initially honoured as a pagan fertility ritual day centuries ago, Valentine’s Day is about love and romance. There are billions of dollars available in profit for those Organisations that make money out of this relationship celebration – card companies, growers of roses and chocolate manufacturers, for example. Many couples don’t celebrate it for this reason.

Why isn’t every day Valentine’s Day in your relationship?

It’s the cynic in me that questions why we only celebrate our romantic relationship once a year and not every day?  Relationships take work and energy and we need to make sure we look after ours every day. As I see it, keeping our relationship in top shape is an ongoing exercise that should be celebrated every day, not just once a year.

High expectations of Valentine’s Day

As millions of couples around the world celebrate this day of love and romance, many may have unrealistic expectations of their partners and how they will ‘honour’ the day and your relationship, and hopes, are dashed.  The expensive holiday ticket is not presented, or the diamond ring doesn’t arrive.  For some, not even a card.

Which begs the question…  are your expectations too high?  Do you anticipate your partner will do more for you on this day than is necessary, or are your expectations realistic?  Remember, relationships generally are only as good the how the intimate partners behave in it and the energy put in, so what are you doing for your partner on this special day?  Every day?

How does my relationship rate?

For some women, Valentine’s Day finds them comparing their relationship to others (maybe unconsciously) and asking themselves if it is as happy as others around them?  Is my relationship as stable as my friend Sue’s?  Does my partner show me as much affection as my sister’s partner does?

Does it make you look at your relationship and realise the many weaknesses in it or do you tend to remain optimistic and hope things will get better?  Or maybe things are great, and you are one of the lucky ones – you’ve found your soulmate!

Being single on Valentine’s Day

Being partnerless on Valentine’s Day can be exciting as you hope (with much anticipation) that the new guy or gal at work you like will send you the ‘secret’ card or gift.  It’s even more exciting to get home and have a huge bunch of flowers delivered to you, telling you how gorgeous and wonderful you are, signed X.  The suspense of not knowing who your secret admirer is heightens the buzz.

Even better if you get presents of love and admiration from a few admirers!

On the other side of the coin, being single can bring about more feelings of being alone or loneliness as it reminds you that you are ‘un-coupled’ and don’t have a significant other with whom you can share your life’s journey and closely guarded secrets.

How to survive Valentine’s Day

As a Couple

We live hectic lives racing around to meet deadlines, sort the kids, do the shopping, rush to your parents … the list continues.

  1. As this day is to honour your relationship, it can be a great way to rekindle your relationship and refresh your feelings of love and care for each other (even better if you do this every day).
  2. Take the day off and spend it together.
  3. Do something together that you don’t normally do – horse-riding, hot air ballooning or scuba diving are good ideas. Make it memorable.
  4. Go for a walk or dinner – without the children (if you have them).
  5. Make sure your partner knows how important they are to you, every day (not just this one).
  6. Learn to communicate well – listen to them, share time with them.
  7. Tell them how much you appreciate them today and every day.
  8. Love does not only come in monetary ways – it is much more meaningfully expressed through spending time together, even if you have been together for a long time.
  9. And the best gift you can give them – your full attention.

For the Singles

Whether you’re happy about being single or not, there are some great ways to celebrate Valentine’s day.

  1. Celebrate you, the woman you are, the wonderful human being that you are every day!
  2. Take Valentine’s Day off. No work, no house-work and forget having the car serviced. Dedicate this day exclusively to you.  Go where you like and do what you want.  Today, I honour ME!
  3. Write a letter to yourself, highlighting all the great things you do and the wonderful person you are.
  4. Spray your favourite perfume onto it.
  5. Remind yourself why you are so amazing and dearly loved. Write down all the positive things you do regularly.
  6. Go out. Don’t stay in.  Go and see new things, visit a museum, spend time on the beach, go on a bushwalk and lie in nature.
  7. Give yourself the gift you deserve.   If you’ve wanted that Tiffany bracelet for a while, buy it.  Wrap it up, write a card, and leave it on your pillow in the morning before work.  When you come home, there it is – a gift for you!
  8. Enjoy a hot bath with candles, bath bubbles and a glass of Chardy. Relax. Take in the moment.
  9. Self-pamper – finally book in for the massage or new hairstyle on this Valentine’s Day.  Send yourself a bunch of flowers to work.  In the card, tell yourself how kind and wonderful you are – you can sign it from you or with an X.  Either way, you deserve it.

Valentine’s Day is a great way to express your gratitude and thoughtfulness towards your partner and yourself.  Make it count. 

The Be Unstoppable Program has been written for all women, no matter where you are, to help you take control of your life, feel more confident about you and give you ways to become resilient, manage stress well and communicate more assertively.

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

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